


wrong geller

by dtsuga93



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, One Shot, alternative universe, enough tags lets get this straight no one is, friends but theyre gay au, i love ross but i made him a dick here, monchel, says mature but theres no sex, some characters are only implied to be gay but i promise you they are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 13:36:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19199917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dtsuga93/pseuds/dtsuga93
Summary: “then we actually did end up breaking up.” her tone harsh. “oh,” rachel softens her tone, looking into nothingness with a tilted head. “but, i love ross.”monica on the other hand, feels her whole world came a roundabout, but came crashing again from hearing that. but she didn’t understand why it hurt her that much hearing those three words, ‘i love ross’. although, it hit differently this time. moreover, with the use of ‘but’. for monica, it could mean rachel still loves ross despite of that.





	wrong geller

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The One With No Orgasms](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14306301) by [asexualizing (Specialcookies)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Specialcookies/pseuds/asexualizing). 



> i took a bit of inspiration!  
> a few week after s3: ep16 “the morning after”  
> everyone’s kinda gay really  
> (i took lines out of the original script for some flashbacks. please don’t kill me for doing so. ps, bonus points to you if you spot the references.)

already drunk with more or less a bottle of vodka and still a little hangover from last night, in their apartment sat down at the couch, rachel’s ongoing rant seems to be bothering monica more than it should, “on a break or not, which we _clearly_ weren’t, who wouldn’t be heartbroken when you hear your boyfriend has slept with another hours after you were—“ rachel sits up, gesturing air quotes, “— _i quote_ , **on a break** , _unquote._ ”

 

she inches closer to monica, who’s already facing her. rachel heightens her gaze, their noses almost touch. they both stare onto each other, examining their faces.

 

stuck in the haze of sexual tension, monica desperately wanting to close the gap between them, _just_ close enough to reach the prize that is rachel’s soft plump lips. she’s unable to do anything but to remain lost staring into rachel’s stoic deep blue eyes as she continues on with her seemingly endless rant.

 

 

_—_

_“i think you should go.” rachel replies softly, her eyes welling up._

_“what?”_

_“i really think you need to go now.”_

_ross moves over from the couch to stand in front of her and places his hands on her shoulders. “okay, okay. this morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldn’t work past it together.”_

_“yeah, what the hell did i know!”_

_“look, look, there’s got to be a way we can work past this. okay,”_

_ross takes hold of one of her arms and places it on his chest. “i can’t imagine— i_ can’t _imagine my life without you.” he grabs both her arms and starts to cry, “w-without, without these arms,”_

_he touches her face gently, “and your face,” and he moves his hand down to her chest, “and this heart. your good heart, rach.” he drops to his knees and wraps his hands around her waist. “and, and,”_

_“no. i can’t, you’re a totally different person to me now. i used to think of you as somebody that would never,_ ever _hurt me, ever.” rachel rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands, holding in a sob._

_“god, and now i just can’t stop picturing it, i can’t,”_

_ross lets go of rachel and backs away to stand up. “it doesn’t matter what you say, or what you do, ross. it’s just changed,” she looks down, “everything.”_

_rachel raises her glare to ross’s eyes, “forever.”_

_“but this can’t be it, i mean,” his eyes welling up with tears._

_“then how come it is?”_

 

—

 

 

“then we actually _did_ end up breaking up.” her tone harsh. “oh,” rachel softens her tone, looking into nothingness with a tilted head. “but, i love ross.”

 

monica on the other hand, feels her whole world came a roundabout, but came crashing again from hearing that. but she didn’t understand why it hurt her that much hearing those three words, _i_ , _love_ , _ross._ although, it hit differently this time. moreover, with the use of _but_. as for monica, it could mean rachel still loves ross _despite_ of that.

 

“but damnit, _he_ cheated on me. it was never me he actually wanted. i hate ross!” rachel clenches her fists. monica raises her eyebrows feeling a sliver of relief ang guilt enter her system.

 

why did rachel wanted to go out with monica for another drinking session after last week? after yesterday too? three binging sessions within a week? and more importantly why with _only_ her? she’s not her only best friend after all. monica’s mind was exploding with conclusions that couldn’t ever be true. could they? although from those three nights, monica couldn’t remember a huge portion of her whereabouts, especially with last night.

 

all she really remembered was:

 

_it was in her apartment,_

 

_crying,_

_wine,_

_crying,_

 

_shots,_

_and crying,_

_vodka,_

_more crying,_

_those unbelievable attractive lips,_

_and more crying,_

and that was basically it.

 

“although, i still love him for no goddamn reason.” rachel shamefully admits, her voice cracking. monica reaches out for rachel’s hands and holds them gently to comfort her.

 

ross doesn’t deserve rachel,

ross doesn’t deserve rachel,

ross doesn’t deserve rachel,

was all you could hear in monica’s mind.

 

“i-i-i don’t know.” her eyes start to water. monica reaches in for a hug to comfort rachel.

 

she never really knew why she’s _that_ mad at ross when in reality she really is in no position to be. it’s been over a week after all. he cheated on rachel, she tries to convince herself. but he’s your brother, she’s only your best friend, and blood is thicker than water right? and to give him the benefit of the doubt, he was clearly intoxicated and sad. give him a break, monica yet again attempts to convince herself.

 

“actually i’ve made up my mind.” rachel laughs frantically, her tears drying up almost immediately.

 

but she couldn’t help at all but to _want_ to scream at ross. and she couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that rachel would gladly spend three trips to new york drunken city after their anniversary/breakup, drinking alcohol their body weight with no other than monica geller herself. and with no one else? her mind was clouding with unsaid questions that she knows won’t be answered soon, and she’d rather not know if it means not ruining their friendship.

 

“i _hate_ him. there’s no reason for me to _ever_ come back to him.”

 

but more importantly, however, why was she so unbelievably attracted to rachel?

 

she shrugs it off thinking it was the alcohol working. again. but it bugged her even more on why it never really passed on.

_—_

_“and then he has the nerve to blame_ me  _for the breakup! sure, i wanted to take a break—“ rachel laughs at the word with sourness bleeding in her tone. “but i did that because i was mad at him, not because i stopped loving him!”_

_“ross can be such a dick at times, but he’s never usually this_ much _of a dick.”_

_“i-i know,” rachel’s voice breaking, meek and almost inaudible. she could feel her eyes dry up. with that, a familiar salty touch to it invades her eyes as her vision waters up. a tear falls right at the side of her face._

_monica realizes this and wipes it off rachel’s face, “_ noooo! _— rachel don’t. please don’t.”_

_“i can’t help it.” rachel bangs the table her gaze looking up to monica, startled by shifting, with that she locks her eyes with rachel as the indistinct chatter around the bar became just white noise. those eyes were just filled with pure—_

_—_

monica can’t seem to remember what was next.

 

lust? no,, it couldn’t be. what a vein thing to even think of!

she grunts in frustration, massaging her forehead.

 

rachel, worried, she perceives monica’s grunting as a signal to stop. “mon, i’m so sorry. i’ve been rambling and _rambling_ on and _on_ about your brother far too much.”

 

monica realizes this and tries to remedy the situation, “what? no, no, no, no! i didn’t mean—“

 

“hehehey, it’s fine.” she shushes monica. “and i guarantee you’re already sick hearing that much of him since the past week.”

 

monica nods in agreement, “ _huh_ , fair point.” she shrugs.

 

“now mon, can i ask you a question?” rachel lowers her gaze to monica.

 

“sure, rach. what is it?”

 

rachel, very knowingly monica would not be wanting to have this conversation, but she’s intoxicated enough to slip out, “mon, i know you’d very much rather not— i figured so because you seem to always dodge this question—“ she reaches out for her glass, drinking the rest of its content “—but could you tell me why? why aren’t you attracted to pete?”

 

she was petrified that rachel would bring this up ever since last week up until last night. but to monica’s relief, she didn’t. not until now. however, she already knew why though.

 

monica couldn’t blurt out a single word, yet the tone of hesitation is clearly heard with her inaudible mumbles.

 

oh dear god rachel, don’t make this any harder than it already is,

 

“let’s just say it is just that it’s—“ monica looks up to rachel her eyebrows raised.

 

you who i am attracted to, she wanted to say.

 

“nevermind.” she drops her gaze unto their still touching hands.

 

 _so_ , _goddamned_ , _soft_.

 

“ _oh,_ ” disappointment clear in rachel’s tone. “but it’s not that i am pressuring you to though. and it’s fine if you don’t want to.” she flashes an easy smile still with the undertone of disappointment.

 

oh how could rachel easily break down monica’s walls.

 

“look, the thing is,” heightening her gaze, looking at rachel in the eye “i broke up with him.”

 

“oh my god! you did?” her eyes widen from the jist of shock she didn’t anticipate monica would say.

 

“yes i did.”

 

if rachel got that shocked by that surface level shit, who knows how she’ll react when she finds out it’s because of _her_ all along.

 

“but mon—“ rachel replies immediately, but was stopped with her hesitation to continue to push further.

 

“yet again, why though?” she continues to anyway.

 

sometimes monica likes sober rachel more than drunk rachel. solely because of the fact that sober rachel isn’t someone who would normally tear down your walls like _this._

 

“and because _yet again_ ,” monica retorts in a playful tone, but a slight tone of mockery could be heard. “i am still not attracted to him.”

 

rachel tilts her head in confusion. she then grabs the bottle of vodka, to which she swiftly fills both glasses up and hands monica’s back to her.

 

“ _and because yet again_ , why is that?” rachel retorted with sass, which monica really didn’t expect.

 

because of you, rachel, she wanted to scream, to just let it out.

 

“because i am attracted to someone else.”

 

it’s you. it’s you. it’s _you_ , rachel. why can’t you see that?

 

“ _huh—_ “ rachel replies and slowly faces her glass, sipping, instead of chugging it down like monica expected her to. “you are?”

 

“yes. i am.”

 

“who is this lucky guy that somehow ruined your chance with this millionaire? hm?” rachel, her chin resting on the heel of her hand, looks at monica intently with a cheeky grin.

 

guy. a guy, huh. but it’s not even a guy.

 

“OR, are you also pulling a chandler?”

 

rachel sees right through monica and realizes she’s very hesitant to answer. “mon, you know you can trust me with anything, right?” rachel groggily but gently reaches out for monica’s hand pulling it closer to her as she lightly draws circles using her thumb.

 

“i know, rach. but it’s just that—“ it was like muscle memory. monica would tell rachel with immediacy whatever she’d ask, but monica, thankfully, manages to stop from exposing herself.

 

“yes, sweetie?” rachel replies with the softest note (if that’s even a thing) monica has ever heard. she’s not sure if that’s even a thing, but it’s how she’d describe it.

 

“well, you see, he’s not even a guy.”

 

“OH, i see. you dID pull a chandler.” rachel nods, still looking at her intently. “i do see.”

 

see that it was actually you?

 

“i knew there was at least _some_ gayness in you! well i guess, in all of us really.”

 

s-she knew?

“and i thought i was the only one who was tired of guys— although phoebe is, well _phoebe_.” rachel gesticulates frantically. “and as it turns out the guys too needed a change.”

 

monica taken aback, leans backwards in her seat, hands crossed. she takes a deep breath. “ _huh,_ ” she manages to blurt out.

 

“ ** _huh_**.” rachel mumbles, unsure on how she would react.

 

“who is it then, mon?” rachel breaks the silence. she faces monica with her hands on rachel’s lap.

 

monica feels her chest and hands clench involuntarily with rachel’s touch, as she manages to shakily reply, “it’s—”

 

but couldn’t speak any further.

 

rachel realizes this and replies in response, disappointment evident in her tone, “it’s alright with me if you don’t want to say.”

 

“ _bullshit._ i bet you’re dying to know.” monica hits rachel’s arm playfully.

 

“yeah—“ she nods in agreement. “—you really _do_ know me.”

 

a familiar figure comes out of the door, hands in his jacket pockets and his signature polo underneath. he immediately steals glances of rachel.

 

“r-ross?” rachel’s eyes widen as she held monica’s hands tighter.

 

monica, furious upon hearing that name, “ ** _ross_**!” she screamed out of rage. she screamed his name again, “i-i mean, _ross_?”, but this time it came out as a composition of anger and confusion.

 

“ _oh my god._ rachel?” ross stops at a few steps behind the door of the apartment. “rachel. i—” his voice breaking, confused, he looks around and turns back to her.

 

“i-i’m sorry.“ he heads back to the ajar door and leaves.

 

rachel, left with shock and confusion and stood there in silence, mouth hanging mid-air. monica instinctively inches closer to rachel.

 

“oh my god, rachel. i am so sorry, honey.” she pulls rachel closer to her body for a hug. “we really have to close that goddamned door at some point.”

 

monica reaches in for a kiss on rachel’s cheek, but she turns her head making their lips meet each other.

 

“sweetie, are you alright?”

 

monica would be lying if she said she didn’t feel the sudden rush throughout her whole body. but why was the feeling ever so familiar? the immediacy and the tension whenever they make such a gesture. the familiar rush of heat fueled by fluster through her cheeks that extends to her neck whenever those lips even became near her. or just whenever the sweetness of her hot breathe evades her nose whilst it hits her sensitive skin as it causes her chest to jump harder with every exhale.

_—_

_“i still love him, but i don’t wanna love him anymore.” rachel curls up in her seat, with monica next to her on the couch. “please, help me let him go.”_

_“i’d do anything for you, rach. anything at all.” a drunk monica groggily reaches out for a hug and rubs rachel’s back._

_rachel breaks the hug and faces monica, “maybe there is_ something _you could do.”_

_“anything at all. i’d do everything it takes.”_

_“here,, let me try this.” rachel leans in suggestively. she lightly touches monica’s lips as she looks at rachel confused._

_rachel reached out and ran her hand softly down monica’s cheek trailing to her jawline._

_“uh, rach, what are you doing?”_

_rachel shushes monica with her free hand. with that, monica remained quiet whilst rachel’s hand trails further to monica’s neck, then to her shoulders, then finally to the hem of her shirt. she grabs it._

_monica releases to what it seemed like a shocked grunt turning to a soft moan._

_rachel pulls monica’s collar with aggression, but simultaneously with gentleness in her clutch. and with that,_

_their faces are only a few centimeters apart._

_—_

 

something in the way that rachel stared at monica was all too familiar, yet unfamiliar. she was pretty sure she has seen that unrecognizable look before. contradictory, but _it_ _is_ _what_ _it_ _is_. she then tries to remember the remainder of that night’s events, but was unsuccessful. that was just merely twenty-four hours ago! yet monica fails to remember the rest.

 

“rach, is there anything i could do to make you feel any better?”

 

“no mon, make me have _you_ feel better.”

 

“i—“ normally, sober monica wouldn’t let her desires overrule her cloud of judgement, but drunk monica would do anything rachel would ask of her in a heartbeat. “ _okay!_ ”

 

“so monica geller,” rachel stares very intently into monica with a sly devilish smile on her face. “what is it that you desire?”

 

with just that, it easily puts monica in a vulnerable and impressionable position, that she herself can’t explain how it happened. whilst in the midst of panic, monica who very eagerly wants to rachel to recreate that iconic collar clutch on her again, just to see if she remembers the rest, and to finally rest assure of what she thinks that happened, actually did occur.

 

 _but_ she was overruled by her panicking, and unknowingly replied, “there is something.”

 

“what is it then, sweetheart?” rachel slyly replies. she winces at the nickname. rachel finds this odd, as monica never reacted _this_ way before from a simple name she called her, considering she had called her as such countless times beforehand.

 

“actually, forget it. i don’t think you’d actually agree with it anyway.” monica embarrassed, and at the same time guilty for even thinking of taking advantage.

 

“says who i won’t agree with it?” rachel heavily objects giving her a stern look.

 

“i did.”

 

“you did, but what if i would actually want to do it?” normally, sober rachel wouldn’t do this, but a curious drunk rachel overrules her body and breaks boundaries she’d never think of crossing, sober.

 

“you’ve been through enough, monica. here, let me treat you.” rachel interjects before monica could talk, to which rachel was already standing up getting something from the fridge. a bottle of sangria.

 

huh, it seems that it’s a signature move of hers. she opens the bottle and fills their glasses with it.

 

“you didn’t have to.”

 

“i know, but i want to. i made it specifically for special occasions. and, this is one. besides, we needed a change of drinks anyway!” rachel flashes her an easy smile.

 

both girls grabs their glass and clinks them together, “cheers.” rachel gulps, without stopping, the glass’s content in half. “this is actually quite weak.” she sets down the glass back to the table.

 

“now, where was i? oh! hell, i’d do anything you ask me to! have me rob a bank? no problem! kiss you? i did before, i can do it again!”

 

“h-h-hold on, _when_?”

 

“don’t you remember last night? when i grabbed your collar and when shit was just about to get interesting, _someone_ walked in on us?”

 

 

—

 

_and the message was clear of what her eyes were sending. pure lust._

_“r-rach, what are you doing?”_

_rachel shushes monica. “just— let me have this, mon.”_

_without further hesitation, rachel leans forwards and pulls monica’s collar as their lips collide onto each other and arms already exploring the other._

_as the kiss grows more hot, wild, and intense, monica leans forward towards rachel, almost straddling her in between her legs._

_rachel, not wanting to relinquish control, turns over away from the couch, making her, along with monica gently fall onto the floor. and with that, she’s back on top. (and of monica as well.)_

 

_monica, with nowhere to maneuver, on her left, the coffee table, and on her right, the couch, she finally submits to rachel, making her follow her lead. with monica’s hand, in rachel’s locks, and the other on her neck, pulling her closer. and rachel’s hand, under monica’s top, almost as if massaging her back, and the other on monica’s hips, almost tugging her closer to her own._

_a familiar noise evades and creeps through their ears, but was overthrown with monica’s moans._

_the hinges of the door creak all around the apartment. it is as reality finally hit them, they didn’t want to get caught. especially not by the rest of the gang._

_“hey, mon, you don’t mind having joey and i invade your fri—“_

_with so little time to react, and so little space to move, they only managed to retract their hands and lips from each other. rachel still on top of monica._

_“r-rACHEL?” the guys scream in unison out of confusion (and secretly also in awe), seeing the girls in such an act._

_rachel struggling to get off of monica, she plops on the couch, laughing nervously, “g-guys it’s_ not _what it looks like!”_

_“a-am i still asleep?” chandler rubs his eyes in disbelief of the sight in front of him._

_“what are you saying? it IS what it exactly looks like!” joey’s mouth hanging open, in awe. “i swear to GOD, monica was moaning. and it was incredibly HOT_.”

 

_“JOEY!” chandler, monica, and rachel scream out in unison._

_“oh come on, like it’s not a big deal!” the girls finally settles down awkwardly on the couch._

_monica, standing up to eye at him, retorts in a threatening tone. “it ISN’T and most certainly you’re not the one to tell the others.”_

_“b-but, how come it isn’t a big deal? friends don’t just impulsively make out, mon!” chandler gesticulates frantically and indecisively at then. he trails off, “_ _let alone have base two making out sessions.”_

_“because we were drunk and stupid! and being drunk makes you do things sober you wouldn’t.” rachel immediately interjects as she tries to think of something to say._

_confusion was evidently bleeding in her tone, but the guys didn’t seem to notice._

_“but didn’t it mean anything to either of you?” chandler’s_ exaggerated _hand gestures hits joey’s arm._

_“o-ouuuch, dude!”_

_the girls couldn’t reply, as the deafening silence evade the apartment with palpable tension, which all of them felt. and that’s the worst-possible tension that could be felt._

_“i-i-i, didn’t meant to.”_

_rachel feels her eyes water up, she tries with all her might to not shed a tear. although, it is her voluntary attempt to prevent it, made the process faster. a drop falls. she attempts to wipe it off without anyone noticing._

_too bad, everyone did._

_“rachel, oh no, no, no,_ no _, don’t cry.” monica instinctively reaches in to hug her and pulls her close._

_monica places a kiss on rachel’s cheek and rubs her back, “hey, just let it all out.” rachel snuggles with monica, her head, buried in her neck, body close to hers, and arms wrapped around the other._

 

_“i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to—“_

_“just, leave us alone for a while. okay?”_

_with that, the guys left the apartment, with baggage they didn’t exactly expect to bring back._

_guilt._

_instead of sodas, beers, and desserts._

_“let’s get you to bed okay?” with little effort, monica’s already carrying rachel bridal style heading to rachel’s bedroom._

_oh how could rachel just stare into those deep blue eyes for eternity and still be satisfied all throughout. even though it was only for a few moments that she was in monica’s arms, she couldn’t ask for more._

_monica sets down rachel carefully on the bed and she covers over her with a blanket. as monica was leaving the room, rachel reaches out to grab her wrist. she turns around, almost clueless about what could she want more._

 

_“hm?”_

_“can you stay by my side?”_

 

—

 

 

“oh well, you get the point right?”

 

monica just nodded along. she finally remembered what happened last night and why she woke up in rachel’s bed.

 

“where was i? kill someone for you? i’m your man! or woman—“ while there’s monica, swallowing the alcohol at the worst possible moment in this conversation.

 

“or i could even be the woman for you!” she states with all her pride. monica on the other hand, her cheeks heating up, body trembling, goosebumps appearing. she’s taken aback, and only nervous laughter to cover it all up. is this still really the alcohol working or was it really from rachel herself?

 

“you know mon, we’ve been fucked over by men way too many times. would dating a woman be any different?”

 

it is still really the alcohol talking?

 

“well, i think i might’ve ended up with the wrong geller!” rachel laughs sourly. sour just like when she saw for the first time monica went out on a date with chandler. sour just like when she saw monica cuddling up with chandler on her couch. sour just like whenever they kissed in front of everyone. sour just like when chandler ruined his chance with monica.

 

rachel never knew why she felt so sour, even if she was happy with ross. but was she really? could it be that the only joy she actually felt was whenever monica was happy?

 

“god, you’re beautiful.“ rachel tilts her head a bit, still glaring at monica.

 

both girls could indecisively feel the palpable tension between them from the few inches that separated themselves from each other’s faces. they’re both left with the other staring in their eyes, moreover, they remain that way.

 

until, rachel leans a bit closer to monica. “why are we fighting this?”

 

“you know you want it to happen as much as i do.“ she touches her cheeks. there is that familiar burning again coupled with the hint of confusion.

 

“i _want_ you.” then she trails to her jawline. monica’s eyes widen as she realizes what rachel’s is doing.

 

“i _need_ you.” then to her shoulders. panic enters her system as her breathing intensifies.

 

“let me make love to you.” and to her neck. she freezes dead on her spot with rachel’s eyes staring out into hers.

 

she pulls monica in by her collar with both hands. she could feel the simultaneous aggression and immediacy in her accelerated breathing. with the sweet scent of alcohol in her breath, every exhale hits her face, and with those eyes that send a clear message, her chest jumps faster by the second.

 

rachel leans forward and collides her lips to monica’s. rachel kisses her rough at first but softens up as monica, shocked, pulls rachel’s shoulders towards hers and immediately kisses her back, roughly, but simultaneously in a gentle manner as their lips synchronize together.

 

rachel feels the heat rise up in her body, and with eagerness, she slips out her tongue, making monica twitch and a surprised grunt coming out her mouth. with that, the kiss goes in deeper as rachel leans forward making monica lean backward with their arms squirming to make as much contact as possible with each other.

 

monica pulled away for a moment. they leaned against each other, their foreheads touching as their sweat trickled down their faces. breathing in the other’s warm breaths, monica whispers, “i guess you did know what was my greatest desire.”

 

“which makes that, _me_.”

 

with a momentary lapse of exchanging grazes, their hands and lips are back exploring the wonder that is the other.


End file.
